It's the scent of snow and spice and pine woods in winter I enjoy.



We bleed with the mountains. We ponder with the stars.



There was too much on my mind today.



The Story of Edgar Sawtelle is a meditation on the limits of language and what lies beyond, a brilliantly inventive retelling of an ancient story, and an epic tale of devotion, betrayal, and courage in the American heartland.



O: I think I read about all of Andrew Vachss' novels.
This was from Vachss:

If you look at Burke closely, you'll see the prototypical abused child: hypervigilant, distrustful. He's so committed to his family of choice—not his DNA-biological family, which tortured him, or the state which raised him, but the family that he chose—that homicide is a natural consequence of injuring any of that family. He's not a hit man. But he shares the same religion I do, which is revenge.

In the Burke novels (:D they're like a crazy super long series that reminded me of Conan Doyle's), the children who were victimised and never got the justice they sought band together as adults (carrer criminals) into their families of choice where their relationship isn't biological, yet goes well beyond loyalty; a loyalty where none of them actually allow the law to come before the duty to their family.
This was from "Unleashing the Criminal Mind," San Francisco Examiner, July 12, 1990.

"There's a very specific formula for creating a monster," Vachss says. "It starts with chronic, unrelenting abuse. There's got to be societal notification and then passing on. The child eventually believes that what's being done is societally sanctioned. And after a while, empathy -- which we have to learn, we're not born with it -- cracks and dies. He feels only his own pain. There's your predatory sociopath." That's why Vachss posed for a recent publicity photo cradling his pit bull puppy. "You know what pit bulls are capable of, right?" he asks, referring to the animal's notorious killer reputation. "But they're also capable of being the most wonderful, sweet pets in the world, depending on how you raise them. That's all our children."

He's deeply-flawed, but he's also full of sympathy. That's Ben for you.



Day 89
You took me from all that I knew, showed me how it feels to hope. With you with me, facing tomorrow together, I can learn to fly.

Labels: Day diary

Day 88
Then again, between the number of times you thought of dying and the number of times you thought of killing someone,

which one is more?

Labels: Day diary

I see a rainbow wash over his eyes.



Denpa teki na Kanojo, arigato.



Your post-its are saving my life. (: thanks.



Day 87
Thanks to those who were there, and to those who care. Most of all, I want to thank you.

Labels: Day diary

Fast five ranks 121 and Thor ranks 207! :D





This is for you Dana.







Day 86
Every night I remember that event
The way you looked when you said you were leaving
The way you cried as you turned to walk away
The cruel words and the false accusations
The mean looks and the same old frustrations
I never thought that we'd throw it all away
But we threw it all away.

Labels: Day diary

Fast five ranks 122 and Thor ranks 215! :D

Labels: Day diary

Day 84
Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.

Labels: Day diary

Fast five ranks 124 and Thor ranks 218 :D

I BET FAST FIVE IS GNA HIT TOP 100. THOR'S GNA HIT 137.



Fast five ranks 151 and Thor ranks 295, from 340 five days ago :D

Released April 29 and May 6 respectively.



Day 83
Swallow all your formless words, keep walking and bend your effete mistrust into self-confidence.

Labels: Day diary

Day 82
This journey is making you feel more alone than you've ever been and the days are starting to become countless, meaningless hours. You're scared that things will never get better. You're scared that this is the way things are always going to be. Remind yourself that this feeling will pass. Remind yourself that one day things will get better-- that one day everything will be okay.

Labels: Day diary

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night!



You are the secret I can never give up.







I wish they understood.



Hush, hush
The world is quiet
Hush, hush
We both can't fight it
It's us that made this mess
Why can't you understand?
Whoa, I won't sleep tonight



Dear John. Burlesque. Inkheart. The Hunting Party.



Imaginarium of Doctor Parn Assus!



Aren't you supposed to be with the girl, in the car, as she drives off into the sunset?



Day 81
They've always wanted to find you. Maybe they just got lost.

Labels: Day diary

Day 80
Nothing bad's gonna happen. You gotta have a little faith.

Labels: Day diary

You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.



AUGUST RUSH. Ahahahaha Thor ranks 340 on the all-time US box office!



Taipei Exchanges.
If only.
Letters to Juliet.



Song birds are talking and the runners are walking. A Prodigal son is coming home.



I feel insane.

Thor.
Bordertown.
Ironman.
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.
Laputa: Castle in the Sky.
Porco Rosso.
Totoro.
Kiki's Delivery Service.
Rango.
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.
Flawless.
The Day the Earth Stood Still.
Up in the Air.
Where the Wild Things Are.



Day 79

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Labels: Day diary

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

:DD I hadn't known it was from Lord Byron.

You don't need water to feel like you're drowning do you?

-Jodi Picoult

I'm gone. Really, I am. (You won't find me.)

Day 78
Shake your head and chide yourself for your nerves. Plod on, even when the weight of the moon and the stars above press down on you.

(Don't get me wrong. It's just that the things you like can drown you as well.)

Labels: Day diary

Sometimes, the beginning of one life can signal the end of another. When such a thing happens, it's up to the survivors to pick up the pieces, and that was what he'd been doing for the last eight years. Picking up the pieces.



Things are not going well.



Day 77
It's not so much the stumble that makes or breaks your life. It's what you do after you fall thats the measure of who you are.

Labels: Day diary

Suicide usually tops the list for its ease and finality.



Day 76
Being afraid doesn't make you a coward.

Labels: Day diary

Day 75
It's okay, because you and I can appreciate the silence.

Labels: Day diary

Day 74
There are people too busy keeping one person from breaking to notice another going to pieces.

Labels: Day diary

Day 73
There are kinds of pain you can't speak out loud. Those are the real monsters, not the ones hiding under our beds. I mean, the monsters that hide have gotta be scared of something too, right?

Labels: Day diary

Day 72
He was tired. Exhausted. What he wanted most in the world was to curl up in the sanctuary of his own home, and let the world disappear. He would sleep like the dead (like a pig), and when he woke up again, she'd be standing there, smiling down at him. She'd say, "wake up, sleepyhead!"

Labels: Day diary

Day 71
You know what people want more than anything else in the world? More than love, more than money, more than peace on earth? People want to feel normal. They want to feel like their emotions, their lives, their experiences, are just like everyone else's.

And in our mission for normalcy, we will ignore what we must ignore. We will cover up what we must cover up. And we will disregard what we must disregard, just so we can hold on to our illusion of perfectly regulated bliss.

Labels: Day diary

Day 70
And she wondered, as she often wondered in her line of work (forensic interviewer specializing in children), why for more parents, their child's unconditional love couldn't be enough.

Labels: Day diary

Day 69
Sometimes we come into a person's life not to make them love us but to let them feel that they're so much worth loving for.

Labels: Day diary

OFFICIAL RESULT: Mountbatten SMC. J Chong Aruldoss NSP 8,436. Lim Biow Chuan PAP 11,965. Spoilt 418 (17.3%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: Bt Panjang SMC. Alec Tok SDP 10,362. Teo Ho Pin PAP 20,349. Spoilt 744 (32.52%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: Radin Mas SMC Sam Tan PAP 18,591. Yip Yew Weng NSP 9,110. Spoilt 669 (34.22%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: Whampoa SMC Heng Chee How PAP 13,015. Ken Sun NSP 6,672. Spoilt 488 (32.22%)

OFFICAL RESULT: Moulmein-Kallang GRC. 44,828 PAP. 31,721 WP. 1,659 spoilt (17.12%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: PAP win Joo Chiat. Charles Chong PAP 9,630. WP Yee Jenn Jong 9,248. Spoilt 314 (2%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: PAP win Hong Kah North SMC. Amy Khor PAP 18,149. SPP's Sin Kek Tong 7,533. Spoilt 573. (41.22%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: PAP win Marine Parade GRC. PAP 78,182. NSP 59,833. Spoilt 3,080. (13.30%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: WP win Hougang GRC. PAP 8,053. WP 14,833. Spoilt 261. (29.12%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: PAP win Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC. PAP 100,382. SDA 54,546. Spoilt 4,544. (29.58%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP wins Tampines GRC. PAP 72,664. NSP 54,337. Spoilt 3,074. (28.88%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: PAP win West Coast GRC. PAP 72,465. RP 36,395. Spoilt 2,820. (33.14%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Yuhua SMC. PAP Grace Fu 14,081. SDP's Teo Soh Lung 6,977. Spoilt 530. (33.74%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Sengkang West SMC. PAP 14,667. WP 10,585. Spoilt 437. (16.16%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win AMK GRC. PAP 112,544. RP 49,779. Spoilt 5,030. (38.66%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Punggol East SMC 3-way fight. PAP 16,969. WP 12,765. SDA 1,386. Spoilt 551. (13.51%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC. PAP 62,282. SPP 47,092. Spoilt 2,085. (13.88%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win East Coast GRC. PAP 59,895. WP 49,342. Spoilt 1,847. (9.66%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Pioneer SMC. PAP Cedric Foo 14,581. NSP Steve Chia 9,430. Spoilt 446. (21.46%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Sembawang GRC. PAP 84,185. SDP 47,578. Spoilt 3,290. (27.78%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Nee Soon GRC. PAP 80,659. WP 57,482. Spoilt 2,341. (17.78%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Holland-Bukit Timah. PAP 48,682. SDP 32,322. Spoilt 1,719. (20.20%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP win Chua Chu Kang GRC. PAP 89,605. NSP 56,817. Spoilt 3,061. (22.40%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. WP wins Aljunied GRC. PAP 59,732. WP 72,165. Spoilt 1,788. (9.42%)

OFFICIAL RESULT: PAP win Jurong GRC. PAP 76,489. NSP 37,734. Spoilt 2,703. (33.92%)

OFFICIAL RESULT. PAP wins Potong Pasir SMC. PAP Sitoh Yoh Pin 7,973. SPP Lina Chiam 7,859. Spoilt 242. (0.72%)


NITE SINGAPORE.



Day 68
You'll grow through this pain.

Labels: Day diary

Day 67
Go easy on your conscience, because it's not your fault. You've just made it a habit to take the blame.

Labels: Day diary

(Bintan trip presentation during hall assembly)
Zi Yun: can we off the lights please, now we will share our performance...OH I MEAN EXPERIENCE <:B
Everyone in the hall: HAHAHA

(math class commences)
Ms Sya: now before we start, Zi Yun, you're gonna perform for us? 8D

Ms Sya: so (2x-3) squared is always positive...but?
Someone(THIS WAS ME HAHAHA!): ...it can also be negative?
Ms Sya: what rubbish?! ARE YOU EVEN THINKING

Jing Jing: (from across the class) Wei Ting! What you get for AA!
Wei Ting: I cannot tell you now, my mark too embarrassing HAHAHA

(when Jen got 1/15 for GA)
Wei Ting: GUESS HOW MUCH JENNIFER GOT HAHAHAH
[...]
Ms Sya: /adds one mark for Jen/ oh so you didn't get 1 in the end!
Jen's group: WAH HAHAHAHA SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!

Ms Sya: I will kiss you if you don't start on question three now.

(a while later)
Ms Sya: okay you totally didn't do question three right.
Delia:...we did it in the exam...

(Ms Sya tells a cold joke about our class clock with Jen's face on it and no one responses)
Ms Sya: eh you all never laugh! I bet you all cannot hear me because so noisy. (class quietens down) I said, according to Jennifer's Time, it is 1.30pm! :D
Ruth: ...Ms Syahidah, not funny...
Ms Sya: IT'S VERY FUNNY!!! I bet you all just secretly laughing

(on our class being noisy)
Ms Sya: I would shoot out my marker in all directions if I could.

Ms Sya: OMG! You know what, Le Yin's worksheet flew to the front of the class, and she was trying hard to pick it up, and this Wei Qi just sat there and "hahaha"

Ms Sya: /suspicious look/ Charis, what were you up to? You have a guilty look on your face.
Charis: O_O huh?
Michelle: /playing along/ I knew it!!! Just tell her lah, tell her...

Ms Sya: I was going to throw the duster at Charis, but obviously I didn't because Ms Syahidah's a nice person- but you know what Wei Qi did?! She sat there and said, "THROWTHROWTHROW"

Ms Sya: by the way 314, all your decorations are dropping off.
Zi Yun: Ms Sya, we changed our theme to "After the Tsunami" 8D

Shi Min: HAHAHA my mother will laugh at my score xD
Ruth: huh you fail, your mother will laugh ah?!
Shi Min: YAH HAHAHA I'LL BE LIKE, "LOOK MA, SINGLE DIGIT" HAHAHAHA

314: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Day 66
It's time to live and let die, and you can't get another try! THROW YOUR ARMS UP INTO THE SKY.

Labels: Day diary